When I came to the conclusion I should/need to commit myself to baggin’ dates I immediately registered on Chemistry.com. It all happened so fast. A $100 commitment for three months.
This shit is real.
And yea, I thought membership was paid monthly. December was a tight month (I apologize for the delayed reporting).
Me, “So ummm can you cash my check after payday?”
Him, “I guess. I would prefer to cash now. What’s your situation?”
“I just made an impromptu investment.”
“On what?”
“Ummmm Chemistry.com. Heh heh. I’ll take you out for a drink to make up for it. Maybe even a date?”
MORTIFYING. But, the new me was able to turn it into a bagged date. And yea, I know it’s a sad state of affairs that I don’t have enough cushion for $100. Don’t tell Suze Orman, I can see her shouting to me “Denied! You can’t afford it!”
A couple years back I had dabbled in Match.com and JDate with little success. There are many factors to attribute to the fact I didn’t have a great experience. Lets stroll down memory lane...
- I’m not Jewish.
This poses a problem when using JDate. This is the premier way to bag a date with a Jew on the internet. I’m always shocked when people have not heard of JDate. I had a friend snag a photo of their billboards in NYC. They mean business and are huge hits in metropolitan areas. I love the Jewish culture and have an attraction for their men so naturally I signed up. Shiksah Lily at your service.
On your profile there is an option to share your faith. I selected “Will tell you later.” Later would come and nothing horrific happened when I dropped the Gentile bomb but it also never lead to anything of substance. Over time I felt like I was encroaching on a space that I did not belong. For more on JDate I recommend this article from Jewlicious, JDate? Let Me Count the Ways.
- It’s a zoo out there.
I couldn’t quite put my finger on why I didn’t like Match. Then these words of genius were shared to me, “Match.com is like a zoo.” A ha! That’s it! Pages and pages of people! Weeding through guy after guy, deciding to wink or not to wink. Not to mention I can’t wink so the process of virtually winking felt ridiculous. What if I meet them and they think I can wink and then think I’m a total fraud?! WHAT IF?! Nerves were already running I didn’t need an additional stress. JDate is not as daunting at Match considering they have less volume and I was able to limit my search to Reform Jews. But they both have the similar format of browsing through what feel like endless profiles.
I attribute this setup to the reputation Match has developed as the smoosh site. To be fair this could just be in my circle of friends. I have not done a research study on this but I’ll go with it. So many people at your disposal fingertips it’s an easy game to get caught up in.
- I was too young for online dating.
I was fresh out of college and had not fully come into my independent ladyself that I am today. I wasn’t a social invalid but going on blind dates was not something I had experience in. I was new to the professional world and figuring out how to live outside of the college life. I needed time to figure out me and build my own life before brining someone in.
I am more than half way into my three months with Chemistry and it’s going alright. Don’t worry details coming. I receive about ten matches a day. 90% of which I click “Not Interested” (again no formal research to support this). However, I am not overwhelmed and I meet my dates with confidence. OK there are still some nerves but I have much more to talk about and sound a lot more awesome than previously.
So before setting up shop on the internet consider my previous mistakes. And I welcome the rebuttal to number two. Perhaps a regional issue? Maybe my friends attract sluts? Doubtful but worth a conversation.
And for the record, I will never join eHarmony. Lesbians and gays excluded? I say, “Oh hell NO!”
